Monday, March 12, 2012

ebb, flow

another nola weekend that felt like heaven, even though carnival season is gearing up down there and the hotel I chose- highly appropriate for a valentine's getaway and all- was right smack dab in the center of the chaos. oh well! I finally, after years, had some moules frites that brought back lovely memories of my studies in Belguim and made my taste buds happy. the saffron aoli was to die for, and the cheese plate was pure bliss. count on nola to always top the previous foodie experience. this one was as close to divine as I've ever been, down to the warm cloudy brioche in a beautiful clay raku pot. (photo below of restaurant Patois). the libations never dissapoint either- had lovely, insanely unique cocktails and met the usual colorful characters. along with some really wonderful family time for both of us that warmed me to my core. I've decided to banish the  cynicism and doubt that have bloomed up like bad mold around some recent unfortunate learning experiences and allow my soul to blossom and expand like the mardi gras always encourages us to. a fresh breath of carnival atmosphere was just what I needed to remind myself that taking myself too seriously is no way to live and thrive. the delicious flavors and the prescence of my beautiful love didn't hurt either-so many blessings to be grateful for. but I am more able to look into some of the complex and difficult situations in my life and face their ineffability without that self-masking sardonic vibe.  I would much rather be in awe of life, celebrating life, looking for the silver lining and the flambeaux (mardi gras torch holders, a gorgeous and vibrant tradition).
Some things are easier ignored, and I understand the urge towards oblivion. I always have-and procrastination, doubt, fear that we channel as we go through this wild and ineffable life are sometimes very hard things to bear, indeed. But allowing yourself to remain frozen and circling endlessly in the negative aspect is never a fruitful or vibrant place to dwell. As Dickinson so simply said, dwell instead in possibility. Let the doors to your soul remain open and allow the new fresh currents of air in. Life was not meant to be analyzed play by play but to be lived, and every day we choose the palette upon which we paint our day. Today, even though there are many grays and dark colors, I choose a bright red, a happy hue, ochre and vivacious and alive-with possibility