interiorly

I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path - Dalai Lama

January is a peculiar month. The first week spent in furious or ecstatic resolution then the inevitable frustration when the previous reality sets in. I vowed not to make resolutions (which I suppose was a form of resolution in itself) then decided I needed a list of possibilties that I would love to see come true in 2012. Indulge me, i wont share them all (they add up) but there are a few that I keep thinking about, and planning in my head...it's a lovely process and I encourage anyone to try it. More than anything, it gives you positive things to ruminate about as opposed to the usual laundry list of problems big and small. Why not daydream about delicious, titillating prospects? I am beginning to understand that the more I take care of my interior, my soul, my spirit, my feelings...the more I can believe in myself and the ways in which I can sucessfully navigate my world. It sounds simplistic to say that joy and bliss are inside-out phenomena but the truth of that is driven home regularly to me lately. No external can subsitute for housekeeping of one's psyche and for the eternal reaching into the recesses of the soulful, tender part of our existence. We do so at our own risk- and if you feel opaquely grey and somewhat lost (it happens, it happens) this is a good time to knock the dust off of those dreams and get moving. Inspiration is always readily available if you keep the searchlight on within. The world can be quite effective at degrading and eroding our defining passions, but tuning out those less than encouraging voices and focusing relentlessly on what you feel you want is vital. Really, what is this existence but the opportunity to find what makes you come alive, thrive, shine? That deserves true resolve. True grit!
Possibilities:
much more travel--and not necessarily too far...as long as I'm rambling, exploring, adventuring
live music, plays, symphony,dance--love the cello, love musicals and acoustic music. never get enough.
optimum health--it's long overdue. hot yoga! walking for miles.
church in some form--I think I'll haunt the cathedral. I went the other day and it made me feel positively ethereal. I'd go to Temple and the ashram, too. Any and every path to spirituality.
meditate, meditate, meditate. why is this so difficult? the results are amazing. and it's simple as pie.
helping out--I need to remind myself and my kiddo how lucky we are. there are so many ways to donate time and effort to worthwhile, humane (and canine) causes.
family time- I really miss my dad, my grandparents, my cousins. need to make time for visits.
knitting and embroidering- my grandma taught me these hobbies and I haven't used them in ages. shame!
learning to cook new things in even healthier ways
a new language! Im thinking arabic
revamp the casa (it so needs it) lots of painting
a HUGE garden. huge. veggies, herbs, flowers. BIG.
yoga certification. in kundalini. I'm so ready to teach once I hit my stride.
writing in this blog all the time. until my fingers cramp. :)
I just re-read Ashley Judd's memoir and some Christopher Hitchens (RIP) and I'm struck by the similar tones in the epilogues. They have rituals for healing, for inspiration, for motivation. I am looking to create my own rituals with my son and my people. I don't want to sleepwalk through my life. I've achieved so many things and it has only made me more determined to continue to ascend and to enjoy every moment that flows my way. I want to build a gorgeous vista within.